Have you ever had trouble being the ‘cool’ person you usually are when you’re with the one who you would like to be your most awesome self around? Yet you find yourself trembling and saying weird things which you did not intend of saying or had a mind freeze with nothing to say at all? Have you ever felt too embarrassed to approach your potential partner when she/he is among a group of friends and you’re by yourself? Have you felt more comfortable while in a group of friends than alone? Then you probably want to find yourself a wingman! Or a woman…
In the dating culture, the term ‘wingman’ is used to describe a person who tags along with you on your dating adventures. You may be thinking, wait, won’t they be on the way of you getting to your crush? Well, this can be debatable.
Studies have suggested that you may actually have better odds of getting your person’s attention if they see you in a group. According to one of those studies people generally look more appealing to others when they are in a group instead of flying solo. A theory suggests that subconsciously people may look more desirable when they give off the impression of popularity and superiority. Another explanation may be related to comparative persuasion aka ‘the wild turkey’ principle which basically shows that people may look more desirable to others when they can instantly be compared to someone else who happens to be less appealing in the eye of the beholder.
Another factor to why having a ‘wingman’ can work better for you than going solo according to the theory is that people tend to be more shy around those whom they are crushing on which can potentially damage their ‘cool vibe’. I’ve read about an approach some time ago recommending people who want to impress their potential partners to have a conversation with someone else who they do not particularly find exceptionally attractive while in the presence of their crushes. This can improve your odds of throwing a good impression indirectly according to that theory. It is also said that going out as someone’s else’s wingman can improve your own odds of scoring in your future encounters as you’ll get to watch the full view, including how your friend acts and how their potential partners reacts to them. It is fair to mention here that everyone is different, but it’s also fair to say that those with more experience can actively handle their situations significantly better than those with little or no experience. .
After watching the following video I scratched my head thinking of the times where I’ve had a better reception from the other side when I was in a group than by myself, and even more strange, I have noticed that I usually get more flirts when I’m dating than when I’m single. It’s as if people find you more desirable when they see someone else craving you. In addition to this, I’ve always heard that married or committed folk have significantly lesser odds of finding someone (to cheat with of course) than someone who is single. But based on ground observation to some cases I have noticed an odd pattern showing that it’s generally more easy for people to find someone to cheat with than finding a date if they were single! Strange I know. I’m still trying to wrap my head around this part and not quite sure how this whole thing works, but so far my findings have shown that the logic behind real world dating can be drastically different from what common sense may suggest.
Whether you believe in the ‘wingman’ approach or not, I would not recommend obsessing over it or use it as a ‘trick’ to get somebody’s attention. My personal experience has taught me that emotional matters should be taken out spontaneously and without strategic planning and mind games. Because if you acted out of your character to get someone sooner or later you will have to get back to your old yourself, and if someone does not like you for who you are then they are more than likely not the one you are looking for.